I Scored Some Drugs

If I had to choose between a bacterially derived and a virally derived illness, I’d choose bacterial any day. Why? The drugs. At least with a bacterially derived illness, such as strep or an ear infection, you go to the doctor and he gives you a pill to make it all better.
This pill is more than just a drug to fight off the illness. It’s a reward for all the hard work and money it takes to see a doctor these days. When you rearrange your schedule to see the doctor, and shell out $30 or more for the visit, you want to feel like it was worth it. That doesn’t happen when you’ve got a virus. The doctors say, “There’s nothing you can do except rest and drink lots of fluids.” OK, explain how important rest is to my kids, whom, even with a 100 degree fever, still have enough energy to wrestle.
So how do you know whether a bacteria or a virus is getting you sick? I don’t know. Last week, Ethan complained of a sore throat. I got nervous when he said sore throat, but didn’t call the doctor because he didn’t have a fever. He stayed home from school one day, but then recovered.
Then James complained of a sore throat. I figured he got Ethan’s virus, and we should just ride it out. But after the second day, he started crying and couldn’t swallow anything, even his own saliva. He didn’t have a fever, but he seemed so miserable. I called the doctor. When the nurse heard he couldn’t swallow his own spit, she told me to come in. I grudgingly took him to the doctor, thinking they were going to tell me James has a virus. Nope—the strep test was positive. The nurse injected penicillin into his leg and all was well the next day.
Then I started to feel like crap. My throat was sore, but not so sore I couldn’t swallow my own spit. Was it bacteria or a virus that was causing me all this angst? Terry, whom doesn’t see a doctor unless he is puking lung, told me it’s just a virus. But, I had been exposed to James’ spit, which was teeming with bacteria—how could it not be strep?
After two days of agonizing and not feeling any better, I made an appointment with my doctor. At this point, I wanted to pay an authority to tell me if I needed drugs. I sat in the examining room, staring at a sign that stated “Most sore throats come from viruses, and antibiotics don’t help.” I felt defeated already.
The doctor finally arrived and examined my ears, nose and throat. I waited for the verdict.
“You don’t have strep throat,” he said.
“Oh,” I said.
“You have an ear infection,” he said.
“Oh!!” I said.
He wrote a prescription for amoxicillin, and I practically snatched it from his hand. I thanked the doctor and walked out of the office feeling perversely happy.