Tuesday, July 15, 2008

One Foot On The Banana Peel

Am I crazy because I talk to my cat, Molly? Based on the stereotype of old ladies living with cats, I am. But I rebuke that stereotype because I'm turning 37 in five days, and that's not old, dammit.

So why do I talk to my cat? Because it's the most refreshing conversations I have most days.

Every morning my boys wake me up, and I hear Molly yowling in the basement--Let Me Out!!! We keep her in the basement so she doesn't wake us up in the middle of the night with her caterwauling. She sleeps a lot during the day, so it only normal to be wide awake in the middle of the night and let everyone know it. I let her out of the basement, and she races indignantly up the stairs.

"How dare you trap me?" she yowls.

I yowl back at her: "Meow! Give me a break, we're sleeping."

She meows back, "I'm too good to sleep in a basement!"

I meow back, "Yeah, right! You're lucky you're not on the street!"

This conversation could go on and on, but usually one of my boys interrupt me. "Mommy," says Ethan. "Is a monster going to destroy New York City?"

"No," I say. "That's just make believe," I say.

"But how do you KNOW?" says Ethan.

"I don't KNOW for sure, but it safe to say that a monster wouldn't destroy New York City," I say.

"But you don't know FOR SURE," says Ethan.

He's right, I don't know FOR SURE. By this time, I try to redirect Ethan and James to eating breakfast and forgetting all that monster nonsense. The nice thing about talking to Molly is, I don't have to redirect her, I just quit meowing at her and she GETS THE HINT.

When Molly doesn't get the hint, and keeps yowling at me, I start talking to her in English. "Stop your yowling!" I cry. "Food is on it's way."

"MEOWWWW," she rebuts. Like, "Don't even think I trust you."

So direct, so refreshing.


IzzyMom said...

I always talk to my cats and they totally talk back, which I find endlessly amusing. I loves teh kittehs!

The Cole Mine said...

I have ALWAYS talked to my cats as if they are totally human. Wait - cats are beyond human, right? Happy birthday to you!

Anonymous said...

Hey Thanks for visiting my blog! I feel kind of disconnected to the Mile High Mamas sometimes, so it was great to see some other Coloradans wander my way. Great post! I'm thinking we are going to add a cat to our "broken" family pretty soon here, so I'm not just talking to stuffed animals and 2 year olds.

Anna said...

While it's sometimes unwelcome and can be a little harsh, I always appreciate the honesty of my cats.
I think the crazy ones are those who fail to see and interact with the inherent wisdom of cats.