I had been moping a bit around the house yesterday. With the Weezer concert over with, life here feels a bit like the day after Christmas. You know, that feeling of magic evaporated because there's nothing left to look foward to except the daily grind. And frankly, reality at the Bowen household hasn't been too fun, lately. Ethan's autism has made first grade a difficult adjustment. Going from a three-hour day of kindergarten to a full day of school has been stressful for him. He's got the social pressure of trying to interact appropriately with his peers, as well as academic stresses of learning to read and write. Every evening we have to coax him to do 40 minutes worth of homework--not a fun task.
My anxiety from dealing with these issues has pushed me to the point where I don't enjoy being with Ethan lately. I know that sounds awful, but it's true. I've been looking forward to my time away from him, like at this Weezer concert, where I can leave mommyhood behind and just be for a while.
I never expected Weezer to make me confront my parenting problems. But in the middle of the concert, Rivers Cuomo, the lead singer, talked to the audience about how he and his family spent their day off from the tour at a water park in the middle-of-nowhere Nebraska. He mentioned how his 17-month-old daughter loved playing in the kiddie pool, and how much fun he had trying out the water slides. How ironic--every week I take my kids to a pool with water slides. What's mundane for me is pure novelty for this rock star.
The next day, the image of the Cuomo family having a great time at some Nebraskan water park still haunted me. It made me think of when we took Ethan to a pool when he was a baby, and the joyous look on his face as he splashed around in the water. Those moments of sheer happiness between a parent and child are so fleeting you don't realize how precious they are until they are gone.
After all these years, Ethan still loves swimming. So this afternoon, when we do our weekly visit to the pool, I'm going to put all other worries aside and try to treat this fun time together as the gift it really is.
4 days ago