I had been moping a bit around the house yesterday. With the Weezer concert over with, life here feels a bit like the day after Christmas. You know, that feeling of magic evaporated because there's nothing left to look foward to except the daily grind. And frankly, reality at the Bowen household hasn't been too fun, lately. Ethan's autism has made first grade a difficult adjustment. Going from a three-hour day of kindergarten to a full day of school has been stressful for him. He's got the social pressure of trying to interact appropriately with his peers, as well as academic stresses of learning to read and write. Every evening we have to coax him to do 40 minutes worth of homework--not a fun task.
My anxiety from dealing with these issues has pushed me to the point where I don't enjoy being with Ethan lately. I know that sounds awful, but it's true. I've been looking forward to my time away from him, like at this Weezer concert, where I can leave mommyhood behind and just be for a while.
I never expected Weezer to make me confront my parenting problems. But in the middle of the concert, Rivers Cuomo, the lead singer, talked to the audience about how he and his family spent their day off from the tour at a water park in the middle-of-nowhere Nebraska. He mentioned how his 17-month-old daughter loved playing in the kiddie pool, and how much fun he had trying out the water slides. How ironic--every week I take my kids to a pool with water slides. What's mundane for me is pure novelty for this rock star.
The next day, the image of the Cuomo family having a great time at some Nebraskan water park still haunted me. It made me think of when we took Ethan to a pool when he was a baby, and the joyous look on his face as he splashed around in the water. Those moments of sheer happiness between a parent and child are so fleeting you don't realize how precious they are until they are gone.
After all these years, Ethan still loves swimming. So this afternoon, when we do our weekly visit to the pool, I'm going to put all other worries aside and try to treat this fun time together as the gift it really is.
10 hours ago
10 comments:
I love that beautiful picture!!
Here's why I stopped by:
Hi, I am not reading blogs, just trying to get a few more names on the petition! Here is the online petition against PETA, please sign it. Sorry you have to copy and paste it!
http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/autismPETA/index.html
You are a good mommy and work very hard don't feel guilty if hanging out at the pool isn't always stimulating. It would probably be more stimulating with a nanny for the kids and a pool boy for you. THAT is what we should strive for. :)
Once again, I appreciate the honesty of a fellow mom. I'm a single mom and it is very difficult going it alone sometimes and yet, like you, when I can focus on what about my kid makes my heart sing, it makes it all seem worth it.
Hi, remember me, lol.
That was a very honest post, well done. Hopefully you will be felling happier soon.
Not that I know from experience or anything, but I'm sure that these feelings will pass. It's okay to experience whatever it is you're feeling, good or bad, they are all valid. I don't necessarily see it as being bad, it has to happen to everyone from time to time. Hang in there :)
I know you how feel. There are always good days and bad days. Celebrate the small things :)
we never got to the pool. I hate bathing suits. So you are having more fun than us! I think it's the change of seasons really, affects my mood/tolerance with the girls.
Hi, I just found you. Is there anyway you could have his IEP adjusted??? My son really doesn't get homework, he is worn out after working so hard all day long.
Parenthood is the hardest job ever. Parenthood with a special needs child or children is even more of a challenge. Homework is my least favorite part of the day....avoiding it currently. Your feelings are sooooo normal. Hang in there and keep trying to celebrate the victories....no matter how small :)
How true is that when all is said and done it is all about having fun!! I just started trying to read your blogs again - you are an awesome writer! Second career maybe haha!
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